【脱口秀和Ta的朋友们 第2季】第8期上：熟悉的味道！鸟鸟重返舞台炸场！

We now have three three-person teams that have successfully advanced. Today, we will continue with the two-person team PK battles. Echo is not weak. Quirky and clever. Our slogan is Awooo awooo awooo! We are Marilyn Mengrui Here to break your hearts. Xiaoli and Xiaogao Winning without a move. I’ve always had a vague feeling that the world revolves around me, but I have no proof. Hello, everyone. Welcome to the show sponsored by Meituan Flash Sale, “Stand-up Comedy and Friends” Season 2. Welcome, everyone. We are now in the third stage of the competition. We call it the “Making Friends” round. The three-person team matches of the third stage have all been completed. Currently, on my right side, the friends in the advancement area can watch the other performances without any pressure. Now, three three-person teams have successfully advanced. They are The Four Heavenly Kings, Wenzi, Dezi, and Yezi, and Five Hands. Congratulations to all of them again. Today, we will continue with the two-person team face-off. Before the competition officially begins, we have invited a friend we all know well to give an opening performance. This friend has a different role this time. She is not a contestant anymore. She is now a scriptwriting coach. The only thing that hasn’t changed is her long-standing dedication to this stage. Let’s give a warm round of applause to welcome Niaoniao. This is the fastest Niaoniao has ever come out. Hello, everyone. I’m Niaoniao. (So beautiful.) (Absolutely stunning.) Thank you. Thank you, teacher. Yes, I’m still alive. I’m not competing this year. This year, I’m the head writer for this show. Thank you. At first, I was really excited too. I felt like I was finally among the leaders. Right? But then I realized there’s actually a lot of work. And the working hours are really long. So actually, I’m more like the lead donkey. Honestly, being the head writer makes me anxious. Because we have to give advice to the performers. But it’s really hard to predict how things will go on stage. So I often feel like I’m just pretending to be a teacher. The answers I give are always really vague. Like, for this question, Logically, you should pick B. But if the audience doesn’t get it, pick C. If that doesn’t work, pick D. If you can explain it well, A is fine too. As an ordinary text-based performer, sometimes when I read manzai scripts, I even have to give people advice on their acting. Have you ever thought about toning down the energy in your performance? Maybe make it a bit more subtle? Have you considered not acting at all? Have you thought about being a text-based performer? Of course, I know that I can be the head writer partly because of my own hard work, and also because of Yang Li, who switched jobs. If it weren’t for the colleagues who left, then those who are capable the company wouldn’t have discovered my potential. That rhymed, yes. The techniques of stand-up comedy are becoming more and more predictable. I can even share with you all our material library. “Romance of the Three Kingdoms,” “Water Margin,” “Journey to the West,” “Harry Potter,” “Empresses in the Palace,” Lu Xun, Du Fu, Elon Musk, capital, clients, Trump. Actually, when comedians write these kinds of jokes, they don’t want to do it this way either. No comedian thinks while writing, “I’m really a smart recipient of nine years of compulsory education.” But as they keep writing, it just ends up like this. Because audiences now watch all sorts of things. When we give examples, it’s hard to come up with one that everyone has seen. A work of art or literature. Some people might be thinking, “What about ‘Good Stuff’?” “What about ‘Nezha’?” But the people who watch these two aren’t the same group. Actually, when I’m not working, I just go online. I’ve already noticed some trends. I feel like on the internet now, there’s very little original content. There’s a lot of analysis, memes, and reviews. It gives people the impression that the film and TV section is in decline, while the comment section is having a renaissance. Netizens really… Netizens are really smart. Some comments are truly brilliant. For example, this one. Open Meituan and order flash delivery. This is how young people shop. It’s also how we actors make a living. I often consume digital “pickled vegetables.” When I have the ability, I make some myself, too. We all become each other’s digital “pickled vegetables.” Not eating any staple food at all. Variety shows themselves are already like pickled vegetables. And we still watch bloggers’ analyses. And even edit cuts of the variety shows. Juicing the pickled vegetables. At first, you might think it sounds boring. But it’s actually easy to get absorbed in it. Maybe sometimes people just need to “juice” others. Compared to expressing myself I prefer listening to others I like watching those bloggers who shout out truths I already know right into the camera and then the comments all agree That makes me feel normal and the world feels normal But if even one person disagrees in the comments I start to get angry But when I see 300 replies folded under that comment I feel relieved because someone is arguing with them for me The internet really stirs up your emotions Sometimes I get so fired up online that I say I want to learn debate But after a while, I calm down and think maybe I should learn law first Then, coming back to reality I feel like I should just learn martial arts instead After all, being able to do stand-up isn’t useful at all You could say there’s nothing wrong with that It’s a stand-up routine that can’t solve anything That’s why I didn’t participate in the competition this year. Although sometimes I do have feelings about it, I always feel that saying it out loud is pointless. It actually ends up being harmful to myself. Friends who agree with you say you’re speaking for them. But those who disagree will say you’re too extreme. But those who agree with you will only agree with your opinion. But those who disagree will attack your parents, your appearance, and even your right to exist. You might think that sometimes you’re just speaking casually, but some people really take it to the extreme. So now I’m just an observer of the world. No one should ask for my opinion. No one should ask me to judge. I don’t understand. It’s not easy for anyone. Just muddle through life. Let things play out for a while. Whenever friends ask for my opinion, I agree with both sides. I want to break up. Support. But I still love him. Understand. He always manipulates me. That’s pitiful. I knitted him a new scarf again. Nice. I used to think that being a stand-up comedian was the best job in the world. Because when you express yourself, you find resonance. With resonance, you’re no longer alone. When you’re not alone, you don’t want to die anymore. But I didn’t expect that expressing yourself also brings opposition. And with opposition comes criticism. When I’m criticized, I want to die. And wanting to die actually resonates with people. Alright. But I think the impact stand-up has had on me is that I’m better at listening to others complain. I used to think people who gave feedback were just making trouble. Why can everyone else put up with it, but you can’t? But now I think sometimes, for society to progress, everyone needs to speak up and give feedback. Otherwise, how would others know about the difficulties in my life? Should I just wait for others to guess? So, you’re angry. I’m not angry. Then why aren’t you working, not getting married, or having kids? Anyway, I’m not angry. I asked my friend what I should do. I said I wanted to change careers. She said she supports me. I said I was really reluctant to leave again. She said she understood. We always get scolded. So pitiful. I wrote a new joke again. Nice. Good. Of course, I still think stand-up comedy is great. Stand-up comedy can bring people joy. It also lets people express themselves. But without competing, people can express themselves even better. Now I’ve finished expressing myself. I hope everyone doesn’t take it too seriously. After all, these are just some silly words. Thank you, everyone. I’m Niao Niao. Once again, thank you to Niao Niao for bringing us a wonderful stand-up comedy opening performance. Impressive. Niao Niao, let me ask you one more thing. That is, doing the opening performance or competing, which one makes you more nervous? Competing is still a bit more nerve-wracking. Because if the opening goes well, the audience will be very happy. But if it doesn’t go well, the audience will just look forward to the next performer. This is my first time seeing her live watching her stand-up show. Although I’ve seen her on screen before, I think seeing her live is still different. Watching live is just so much more exciting. And just now, in her routine, the things she talked about really resonated with me. When others criticize you or have opinions about you, for me, I think I might just hold it in. Because I feel that arguing back is probably pointless. Maybe I’ll just save it as material and then express it through my music later on. I don’t know if Bird Bird is like this too. Yeah. I think that’s true. What is Bird Bird’s music? Yeah. I’m also learning music. I want to fly even higher. I mean, I am music. She has her own medium. Yeah. I really think so. The good thing about stand-up is if you have any negative energy, or negative feelings, you can vent them on stage. But sometimes you really can’t hold it in. I think we’re the straightforward type of artists. Sometimes people really do need to vent. Let’s give another round of applause to Teacher Niao Niao. Because I can already feel her eagerness to leave this stage this sense of urgency. The performance is over. From the moment Niao Niao finished her performance to the moment she sat down just now, I saw her immediately wanting to walk off the stage, that kind of action. Niao Niao just said that on the internet, when she encounters opinions that contradict her own, her state of mind ultimately leads to just wanting to die. Luyu If you see an opinion online that contradicts your own and there are a bunch of comments under your post, how would you react? Many years ago, I had an experience that left a deep impression on me It was so funny At that time, I was doing a live broadcast about a major international breaking news event Then, the media outlet I was with at the time printed out all the online comments and gave them to me to read People are like this Out of a hundred compliments you feel happy after reading them but then you move on But if there’s one negative comment you’ll remember it That person is coming from your point of view thinking your opinion is wrong People back then were very simple and honest They would leave their real name address, and phone number and it was even their home phone number It just so happened that I was in Hong Kong, China that day There was a typhoon in Hong Kong, China, so I couldn’t go to work So I dialed that number I said, “Hello, are you Mr. Huang?” This is Chen Luyu. I was just about to say that I don’t agree with your attitude. I don’t think that’s the case. But then he started saying “Our whole family really likes you.” Yes, that’s right. Absolutely. And that incident left a very deep impression on me because no matter how irrationally we might express ourselves online, when we return to real life, when you can hear that person, see that person, and even touch that person, you realize people have warmth. So I kept apologizing for disturbing their family that day. I felt very sorry. I think that’s really great. Everyone has their own way. When Niaoniao encounters different opinions, there’s stand-up comedy. When she wants to express herself, she does stand-up. Luyu would call and arrange to meet people. What about you, Teacher Da? Just now, when Niao Niao said that she sometimes encounters for example, when others complain, she uses her wit to respond with things like “That’s great” or something similar. Something like that. I also just make some puns. And then, a while ago, I met a friend who wanted to get a divorce. He kept saying his family wouldn’t let him get divorced. His father wouldn’t let him either. His friends wouldn’t let him. He asked me what to do. I said, “Go find Kong Rong.” Because Kong Rong ‘lets you leave.’ (pun: “让离” sounds like “let divorce”) What? That’s all. And that was about it. It just passed like that. I really regret asking you this question. Anyway, that’s all I know. Nothing else. Come on. Speaking of Niao Niao, I actually had something I really wanted to say at the time. But Zhang Shaogang, that guy, didn’t give me a chance to say it. He asked everyone else. After Niao Niao finished performing, he didn’t ask me. Alright, let’s get ready to start the competition. So what I wanted to express I never got to say. Let me take this opportunity to say it. If China could only keep one stand-up comedian, and I got to decide, it would be Niao Niao. If Niao Niao hesitates and hasn’t decided whether to do this so much that she’s still unsure then I hope this spot will always remain empty waiting for her to come back once she’s made up her mind Let’s get ready to start the competition At the same time, we also want to once again to our scriptwriting team teachers express our welcome and gratitude Teacher Cheng Lu, Teacher Hai Yuan Teacher Niao Niao, Teacher San Di Seated behind them are from all over the country the heads of various stand-up comedy clubs Welcome, everyone And welcome to those here at the venue all our friends who love stand-up comedy Welcome, everyone Today’s competition officially begins. Next, we will proceed with the Friends Match two-person team PK round. Two-person teams. The first two teams to compete are Xiaoli and Xiaogao and Echo Bucai. The first team to take the stage is Xiaoli and Xiaogao. How did you two become a team? We met through Wang Zihan, right? Yes. He could be considered something Wang Zihan left for me, like an intangible cultural heritage. That’s not it. I’m actually quite materialistic. Sis. Material cultural heritage. What was your first impression? Hotpot. I just remember when we were eating hotpot. I remember that too. Eating hotpot. He was talking with that Huya about their family backgrounds. You two were comparing whose family background was worse. Right. I thought he was a bit silly, that kind of feeling. That’s what I was thinking. I’ll give up these ten votes. Just to have Teacher Luo bow to me. I have no idea what he’s doing. Actually, what I said yesterday was that I wanted to challenge Jia Hao. He’s considered a minor player. Maybe he’s a bit slow-witted. I was afraid he might beat me. So I didn’t tell him. He just seems kind of dumb. I thought people who don’t open their eyes are deep thinkers. But later I realized he just can’t open them. What do you think a good friend is like? What should they be like? Powerful and influential. With status. Have you made friends like that now? No. For both of you, what is friendship? It’s nothing. It’s probably about reliance and support. That makes me seem so unfunny. No. You’re not funny to begin with. How does it make you seem? Competing together as a team is it more powerful than competing alone? Does it feel stronger? I do feel that way. I feel that way too. Because I think I can get her to write a couple of jokes for me or something. Did you mention this to Sister Xiaoli? I did. But don’t include this in the edit. You always include everything I say. What does that make me look like? Cut this part out. This part won’t do. It just shows your true self. Did you agree to create together in the future? Let’s take a break and talk later. It’s just a bit… It’s just too much. People like this… This is a typical case of wishful thinking. We shouldn’t follow that example. Friends watching at home, we must be meticulous about every detail. Take each step carefully. Strive to improve every day. Then I read her script. Don’t, um, take so long. Just watch. You’ll know once you see it. You’ll understand when you see it. What does “Wang Xiaoli” mean? I read Sister Xiaoli’s script. It was so impressive. The reason I’m writing now is so I don’t hold Sister Xiaoli back too much. You’ll understand once you read the script. Wisdom brings us closer to the truth. Let’s give a round of applause and welcome Wang Xiaoli and Gao Han. This doesn’t feel very cohesive. Both of them are so relaxed. Xiaoli and Xiaogao. No move is the best move. The next team to perform is Echo Not Bad. Please welcome Echo (Ran Rong) and Caicai. Hello, hello, everyone! So cute. Thank you. We are Echo Not Bad. Quirky and clever. The other team is frighteningly calm. I especially want to ask Xiaoli and Xiaogao, how did you two form this team? Originally, I was going to team up with Echo (Ran Rong) and Caicai. We were going to form a three-person team. But all the spots for three-person teams were taken. So should I leave or what? We even came up with a name. Yikou Likoucai. To defeat Gao Han. Echo and Caicai are already good friends in real life. Yes. So how would you describe what kind of friend the other person is to you? I think Caicai is more like my genius girlfriend. Really. Because sometimes when she watches the show, she worries about whether her performance on stage is good enough. I tell her, actually, you represent the genius girlfriend of all our female viewers. You quietly and gently are there discovering the special things in life. So I want her to be full of confidence. What about you, Caicai? I think Echo and I are the kind of friends who know the most secrets about each other. It’s because when we talk, we really open up to each other. We feel very relaxed when we talk. It feels like we can talk about anything. Maybe that’s why it’s so comfortable. When I’m with her. Okay. So after forming this kind of team, we’re really looking forward to the first match of the two-person team. We’re curious to see how it will go live. First up to perform are Xiaoli and Xiaogao. This friend has a very unique style of performance. How should I put it? It’s called both bold and timid. Let’s give a warm welcome to Gao Han. Good evening, friends, and friends on the second floor. My name is Gao Han. And then, This segment is the “making friends” round. Actually, my best friend is someone I met in high school. His name is Xiao Yu. Xiao Yu was always at the bottom of the class. He completely lived in his own world. He slept in class. Our homeroom teacher, a very aggressive middle-aged man, questioned him, “Do you know that sleeping in class is disrespectful to me?” Xiao Yu said, “How is sleeping disrespectful to you?” “It’s not like I’m sleeping with you.” He said the whole class wasn’t sleepy anymore. Xiao Yu is truly unforgettable. But what I remember even more from senior year is the “Hundred Days Oath” ceremony. Do you know what the “Hundred Days Oath” is? (Yes.) Good. About a dozen people here have been through senior year. Very good. It’s when there are 100 days left before the college entrance exam. The principal invites someone to give a speech. The first part is about being grateful to your parents. The speaker stands on stage and says, “Kids,” “Think about that steaming bowl of rice at home.” “Who should you thank?” I said, “Definitely Yuan Longping.” Kids, think about the light that’s on at home. Who should you thank for that? I say, it must be the State Grid. You thought I was going to say Edison, but that’s too narrow-minded. Also, I don’t like eating rice. I love instant noodles. Why is that? Because tomatoes are a treasure. Tomato King never disappoints. Each cup of Tomato King uses about one sun-ripened tomato. Kids, who should I thank? Thank Tomato King. I’m not moved because my parents don’t care about me at all. In the summer of 2017, they asked me a question. They said, “Son,” “The college entrance exam is in a couple of days,” “why are you still going out?” I said, “I’m going out to take the exam.” So I’m not touched. But all my classmates cried. They were all in tears. Then the lecturer saw the mood was right, so he decided to randomly pick someone to go on stage and call their mom to say “I love you.” I said, “I know this one.” Isn’t this just Truth or Dare? He picked Xiaoyu. Xiaoyu went on stage, called his mom, and put it on speaker. He said, “Mom, I love you.” His mom was shocked. His mom said, “Son,” “Did you kill someone out there?” Xiaoyu said, “What are you talking about, Mom?” “This is just a pep rally.” Why did you attack the teacher? Teachers are people too. After making the call, they didn’t let Xiaoyu leave the stage. They kept him on stage. He had to shout out the university he wanted to get into. Xiaoyu was on stage, “I want to go to Peking University!” In the audience, many people laughed at him. Friends, mocking someone else’s dreams like that is something I actually enjoy. I said, “Yesterday, you didn’t want to go to Peking University.” “Yesterday, you wanted to go to the internet café.” Everyone below was laughing at him. But then the lecturer suddenly shouted, “Senior year warriors,” “Everyone, attention!” “I want to go to Peking University!” Everyone lost their minds. They all started shouting, “I want to go to Peking University!” It scared me to death. Have you ever seen 800 Fan Jin pass the imperial exam together? Besides, Fan Jin only went mad after passing the imperial exam. We haven’t even taken the college entrance exam yet. Aren’t we going crazy a bit too soon? Premature exam madness. That day, the shouting made me doubt myself. I thought, could shouting actually work? Everyone was shouting so much, even the first and second-year students in the teaching building started doubting themselves too. He said, “Seniors are all aiming for Peking University.” “Is Tsinghua really that bad now?” We only shout for the very best school. No one shouts for the slightly less prestigious schools. No one shouts for Fuxin Mining College. It’s always Peking University. No one shouts for Shanghai Jiao Tong University. We can’t get into Shanghai Jiao Tong University, but we also look down on it. So we just shout for this one. It’s all random shouting. No one really takes it seriously anyway. But the principal took it seriously. Amid all the cries of “Peking University,” our principal gradually lost himself. I saw the principal’s state on stage, “Where am I? Who am I?” “Am I…” Cai Yuanpei, the president of Peking University?” His shouting got everyone fired up. He started beating the drum on stage. He brought out a big red drum and started drumming. He shouted while drumming. He said, “Kings and nobles…” “…are they born different from us?” I was completely stunned. I said, “Principal,” “Are you planning a rebellion?” He really put in a lot of effort. He was sweating all over. He even took off his suit jacket. When I saw that, I didn’t want to wear a suit anymore. I wanted to wear a dragon robe. At the time, I thought the hundred-day oath ceremony was completely useless. But I didn’t expect that the power of shouting was actually so strong. It had an immediate effect on our grades. That afternoon, we had an English test. I couldn’t understand a single thing in the listening section. My ears were almost deaf. Then, because he took off his jacket and caught a chill, the principal caught a cold the next day. The late emperor’s work was not yet half done. He got an upper respiratory infection. The day the college entrance exam results came out Xiaoyu had already found a job Among the 800 students in our graduating class the number who got into Peking University was zero No one got in Because to get into Peking University you have to be in the top 50 in the whole province That’s just too hard in our small county In our county the last person who made it to the top 50 in the province was a scholar from ancient times That deserves applause You can applaud Some people say my joke has the wrong values They say, Gao Han so you mean ordinary people don’t have the right to pursue their dreams? Yes No What I want to say is don’t chase after dreams that others force on you pursue what you truly want Like that day when everyone was shouting randomly I was the only one shouting the school I really wanted to go to They were all there “I want to go to Peking University!” But I was off to the side saying, “I want to go to Hogwarts!” That’s all, thank you Three lights Come on, everyone Countdown to locking tickets for Gao Han Let’s give another round of applause to Gao Han. Starting from this season, Gao Han first went from being the “Chicken Prince” then ended up as a poor guy. Today, he just puts on this look like he has seen through everything in life. Yeah. Gao Han has this vibe about him like he needs a chiropractor. It’s an indescribable energy. He’s really fun. He always manages to provoke everyone. He always says things like, “You all must be thinking this,” “but I won’t say it that way.” “I want to see how you all react.” Just like earlier with Edison and the State Grid. Yeah, there are so many funny moments. And even though it’s clearly a competition, he always acts so lazy and unmotivated, like someone forced him to come. Yeah. He always looks like there are mosquitoes around him. Always wanting to swat them away. But that’s just how he is. Yeah, it’s really funny. At first, people said you were both annoying and timid. I don’t know who made that comment about you. So impressive. I don’t know. Because I didn’t come up with this myself. Someone did. That person is not even human anymore, okay? Yeah. Someone did, not me. I only said you’re annoying. No. Let’s suppose for now someone says you’re both annoying and timid. If you heard that, do you think it’s accurate? I’m mostly just timid, I guess. What do you mean, annoying and timid? I’m awesome and popular. Impressive. I think the best way to describe Gao Han is what’s written on the light. Because he doesn’t seem like someone who’s used to being praised. Actually, he is used to it. I just act like I’m not used to it. But inside, I’m happy. Really. Yeah, a lot of people are like that. They act all indifferent. But if you praise them, deep down, they still I think Gao Han and Sun Shuheng are both the type who get uncomfortable when praised. Because they’re afraid the praise isn’t thorough enough. Right? They hope for even more complete praise. I’ve always liked Gao Han’s style. It’s that kind of relaxed look on the outside, and inside, he’s actually got that same laid-back vibe. There have been several times when his writing has this “I can express this kind of thing” “Only I can say this” kind of feeling to it. He’s got a certain energy. Right? Isn’t that so? Doesn’t he have that kind of energy? But he seems a bit confused listening to this. He actually looks confused by nature. No. I’ve learned a lot from listening. I didn’t do a great job speaking. But I think Gao Han acted pretty well. That actually gave me a lot of confidence. I felt like I could really let go and perform. She was worried I would hold her back. I told her, “Don’t worry.” Yeah. Even if you don’t do well, I can still help you out. Yeah. That’s exactly what I said before going on stage. Yeah. I was so nervous at the time. My mind couldn’t really process everything. So I didn’t really think about it. He kept memorizing his lines. I was mumbling, not sure what I was saying. Finally, I got a cue. But I missed it. Let’s give another round of applause for Gao Han. Gao Han, take a break. The friend who will compete with Gao Han Alright. Everyone finds her very familiar. Alright, not bad. She came from the mountains to the city. Go over there, there’s a seat. She has shared with us about her family background, and shared about herself, and all kinds of life experiences. Both in the mountains and outside. Let’s welcome with applause Echo (Ran Rong). Hello, friends. Hi, everyone. I’m Echo (Ran Rong). (So beautiful.) Thank you. As everyone knows, stand-up comedy is an art of offense. Comedians are all pretty offensive. But you guys, my dear audience, sometimes you can be quite offensive too. Because after last year’s show aired, I received a comment from someone online. He said, A woman like Echo (Ran Rong) looks very classy, but actually has no money. That hit a nerve. He was right. I don’t have money. All these years shopping at malls, I could only afford to shop on B1 and B2 floors. I’m even scared, I’m scared that malls will keep building deeper and deeper underground. People will end up going down there while they’re still alive. Sometimes I feel like someone like me could spend their whole life on the B1 and B2 floors of a mall. Live out their entire life there. When I’m hungry, I eat at Mr. Rice. When I’m thirsty, I drink at Auntie Shanghai. I rely on these two places for my whole life. Of course, rich people have to go underground too. Their cars are parked on B3 or B4. After parking, they take the elevator passing B2, B1, and the first floor. In five seconds, they pass right through my whole world. Actually, my dream is to shop freely on the first floor. But in reality, I can only go to B1 or B2 to buy knockoffs. Because I really can’t bear to spend that much. Back then, I always wanted to buy those fruit headphones. I don’t know why, but every time I walk down the street, when I see the wind blow through someone’s hair, revealing that touch of premium white in their ears, I always take a second look at them. Later, I finally made up my mind and bought a pair myself. The wind would blow my hair too, revealing that touch of imitation white in my ears. I was afraid someone would take a second look at me. You know, actually, no one cares about you. No one cares about you. But when you wear those imitation headphones, you become super self-conscious. So your body language becomes really awkward. That’s why you often see me over there The appearance of high-quality replica earphones actually hasn’t changed much. Until one day, a friend invited me to go cycling. Then, he specifically reminded me from behind, when we ride on the road later, it will be very dangerous. So you must remember to turn off noise cancellation. Noise cancellation? What is noise cancellation? At that time, I really didn’t know. What the heck? I was so embarrassed. All I could do was try to ease the awkwardness. So I pretended to take out my phone. Pretended to turn off the noise cancellation. Fiddled with it for a bit. Took a couple of selfies. A lot of things just can’t be hidden. Some things really can’t be hidden. One day, a coworker sitting next to me asked me if I got new headphones. I asked how he knew. He said, “When you listen to music now,” “I can hear it too.” At that moment, my face turned bright red. And at that moment, my world truly went silent. No money, but I want something fancy. I realized that’s always been my way of life. When I was little, I especially loved watching “Princess Pearl.” I got really into it. Then my aunt who lived in the city came back to visit me during summer vacation. When she walked past me, a scent drifted by. I almost blurted out, “Fragrant Concubine!” She really smelled so nice. But back then, I didn’t know that it was perfume city people wore. At the time, I was only ten. I decided to make my own perfume. The top note was jasmine I picked myself. The middle note was spring water I fetched myself. And the base note was, in the end, I threw it all away. This really happened. Because the flower was soaked in water, it started to rot. Echo No. 5 was a failed experiment. But luckily, I later decided to buy its perfume at the town’s convenience store. It’s so weird to sell perfume in the countryside. The bottle looked really strange. I couldn’t tell if it was perfume or liquor. It didn’t feel like I bought a bottle, but like I got a couple of shots. When I got home and smelled it, it was really pungent. No, did Consort Xiang really use this one? I feel like if she used it, it wouldn’t attract butterflies but would definitely kill bugs. I even suspect Consort Xiang could use it as pepper spray. Within 50 meters, the emperor wouldn’t dare come close. Consort Xiang, I’m here. I’m leaving. I’m really not exaggerating. The smell made me dizzy. I think that bottle of perfume, if I smell it again, I might die. If after smelling it I really die, then it truly is a perfume that kills women. That was, for as long as I can remember, the first time I wanted to imitate someone else’s scent. I felt like I wanted to cover up a certain smell on myself. So what exactly is the smell on me? Later, I watched the movie “Parasite” and found out that some people call it “the smell of poverty.” The smell of poverty. What a harsh term. The smell of poverty. But everyone, don’t worry. I just took a sniff and there are no poor people here. It seems like I’ve always wanted to hide this smell. So in my first year after graduating from college, I bought the same perfume as my aunt. A similar perfume. I even sprayed some on before going home for the New Year. My mom thought it was strange. She came closer, sniffed me, and said, What’s going on? You smell like her perfume. I couldn’t really explain it either. But I knew it was my own insecurity at fault. Honestly, friends, being able to smell nice is a privilege. Not everyone gets the chance. I once bought my eldest sister a bottle of perfume. Years have passed and she barely used it. I never understood why. At that time, she had already been living in the county town, married with children. Her husband worked in doors and windows. Her husband, Liu Rencheng, one day just… I’m not joking. My brother-in-law really does work with doors and windows. He takes my sister out to work with him. I can hardly imagine my sister wearing perfume. And saying to my brother-in-law, “Honey, you’re doing an installation today,” “and the whole house smells like me.” This year, I finally managed to save up a bit of money. Last year, I went on a show. I saved up a little money. I realized I could stop just browsing the basement and sub-basement floors. I had the courage to walk into the first floor, too. I even had the confidence to say no sometimes. Once, I finally walked into a perfume boutique on the first floor. I found a perfume I liked. Then I told the sales assistant, “I really like it,” “but it’s too expensive.” “I can’t afford it.” I thought the sales assistant would roll her eyes at me. But instead, she got really excited and said, “Girl, you’re so brave!” “You actually dared to say you can’t afford it!” I said, “Girl, you’re even braver than me.” “You actually dared to say I can’t afford it!” Thank you, everyone. I’m Echo (Ran Rong). Let’s give a round of applause for Echo (Ran Rong). Not a single light? Make sure to use the last moments to vote. Now, countdown to lock in your votes for Echo (Ran Rong). Let’s give another round of applause to Echo (Ran Rong). Because I think what she talked about might resonate with many girls. It brings back that childhood feeling. Making your own perfume. I made it myself when I was a child. Painting on red nail polish. Because I watched a movie called “Memories of Peking: South Side Stories.” There was a madwoman in it. She used some kind of flower petals mixed with something like alum. Henna petals mixed with alum. Right. I was too young to find alum. I forgot what I used instead. Anyway, every girl has had similar experiences. Trying to get as close to beauty as possible. Wrapping it up with a piece of cloth. So I think she described I think it’s that scene of everyone pursuing beauty. I was really moved by it. Why did Echo (Ran Rong) choose this topic for the third round? Why did she decide to talk about this? Because last year she talked about coming out of the mountains. And I think life in the city is actually a new beginning for me. So there are a lot of materials about poverty. I might feel that poverty for men and poverty for women are often different. So I wanted to say, can I explore these moments of poverty in my real life? So, for example, perfume— wanting to smell nice, and fake earphones— wanting to live the kind of life shown in those fruit earphone ads, that kind of life, seems to be something I’ve always looked forward to. So I wanted to write about these two topics. Ms. Niao Niao, from a screenwriter’s perspective, because my relationship with Echo (Ran Rong) I think is pretty good, so what’s wrong with being self-confident? I think Echo (Ran Rong)’s performance has the biggest advantage that even in the setup parts, she’s especially captivating. And I still think Echo (Ran Rong)’s content is very distinctive. She’s taken a unique and stylish “broke person” path. Echo is a charismatic stand-up comedian. Yes. When she is performing, we can see her confidence and radiance. Let’s give another round of applause to Echo. At the same time, Gao Han returns to the stage. After both Gao Han and Echo have finished their performances, let’s take a look at Gao Han and Gao Han and Echo finally, at the number of votes they received. Gao Han has 253 votes and is currently in the lead. So, please, both of you return to the waiting area. We need to watch the next group’s performance. After calculating the overall scores, we’ll decide which group can successfully advance. Today, I chose stories from after I became an adult or some things from my childhood. I think they’re very real. I feel like in my routines, I’ve always wanted to hide or get rid of the rural flavor about me, or, you could say, the flavor of my hometown. I’ve always disliked it, but then I realized that actually, most of my material comes from that place. Honestly, I wanted to forget my original intention long ago, but by doing stand-up, I somehow picked up that original intention again. I feel that my being on this stage and telling these stories from the mountains is really something destined by fate. Personally, I think my stories are still worth being told on this stage. But maybe people don’t really like them or don’t really accept them, which is within my expectations. The next performer about to come on stage has the characteristic of being calm, but very sharp. I really hope everyone can quiet down and listen to her share some of the confusions she had since childhood. Please welcome Wang Xiaoli with applause. Sister Xiaoli is nothing if not steady. Exceptionally steady. Absolutely has to be steady. Hi everyone. I’m Xiaoli. Hello. When I was a kid, I loved watching TV dramas. I remember the first one I watched was “The Legend of the Condor Heroes.” I really liked the female lead in it. Huang Rong. She was beautiful, skilled in martial arts, and incredibly smart. Isn’t that just like me? I immediately saw myself in her. The earlier parts of the story were also very interesting. Until there was one scene where Huang Rong begged Hong Qigong to teach the Eighteen Dragon-Subduing Palms to Guo Jing. That made me so anxious at the time. I thought to myself, Why give it to Guo Jing? You should learn it yourself! I know you love Brother Jing, I love Brother Jing too, but being in love shouldn’t get in the way of learning. Although I was young at that time, I still knew the Eighteen Dragon Subduing Palms was a really great skill. Even Hong Qigong himself said Guo Jing was too dumb to be taught. And you even used food to tempt him into teaching. Why are you making things difficult for Hong Qigong? He’s just a beggar. But after that, things just got more and more off. Huang Rong kept staying by Guo Jing’s side, helping him find his enemies and his master. It seemed like she never had anything she wanted to do for herself. I said, Huang Rong, why don’t you have anything you want to do? My friend said she does. What she wants to do is to be with Guo Jing and do whatever Guo Jing wants to do. I said, what? In The Legend of the Condor Heroes, isn’t everyone trying to be a hero? Everyone else is working hard to learn martial arts, robbing the rich to help the poor. But what are you doing, Huang Rong? Building your own little family. You ran away from home in the first place, but after meeting Guo Jing, you want a home again. If you knew this, you shouldn’t have left. Your original home was even bigger. And there were also peach blossoms I didn’t understand So I gave up on the show I didn’t keep watching Later, I vaguely heard from friends and family that she married Guo Jing and had several children Everyone in the martial world had to respectfully call her Madam Guo Only a few villains still remembered her name They said Huang Rong, you witch Thinking back on these villains now they actually respected Huang Rong’s agency as a woman But Huang Rong was too disappointing She even forgot her own surname She was originally surnamed Huang Now she became surnamed Guo Doesn’t that make it a second surname? Why didn’t Huang Rong learn the Eighteen Dragon Subduing Palms? In the TV series, it said Huang Rong was afraid Guo Jing’s martial arts weren’t good enough Her father opposed them being together If you learned the Eighteen Dragon Subduing Palms even your father couldn’t beat you so why would you fear his opposition? Of course Guo Jing’s martial arts were weak and he couldn’t cook His social skills were also lacking If you don’t learn the Eighteen Dragon Subduing Palms you can only be a pretty face But Guo Jing is actually well-suited to being a pretty face He’s dumb, handsome, and kind When you hear me say this, you might think I care a lot about my career. But that’s not true. I don’t think a career is important. Love isn’t important either. But good things— they have to belong to me. I asked my parents, I said, why doesn’t Huang Rong learn the Eighteen Dragon Subduing Palms? My dad said, Who allowed you to watch TV? I asked my friend, I said, why doesn’t Huang Rong learn the Eighteen Dragon Subduing Palms? My friend said, you’re too young. You don’t understand yet. I thought to myself, Aren’t we the same age? She even told everyone else about it. Everyone laughed at me. So childish. You actually want to learn the Eighteen Dragon Subduing Palms? I didn’t know how to explain it to them. It’s not that I really want to learn it. But for the sake of the world, I could do it. This isn’t called childish. This is called having a broad mind. Later, I started following a new drama. “A Dream of Curtain” At that time, this drama was extremely popular. Our class was divided into two groups. One group supported Ziling. The other group was just me. I was really afraid of exposing myself. Every time they discussed it, I didn’t dare to speak. If someone asked, “Xiaoli, what do you think?” I would say, “I’m still young, I don’t understand.” She said, “Aren’t we the same age?” Until one day, a friend secretly pulled me aside. She spoke to me very seriously. She said, “Wang Xiaoli,” “I want to tell you a secret.” “You must not tell anyone else.” I asked, “What secret?” She said, “Last night,” “Did you watch ‘A Dream of Curtain’?” “Fei Yunfan said to Lvping,” ‘You only lost a leg,’ ‘but Ziling lost her love.’ I have a thought, though I’m not sure if it’s right. Is it possible that a leg is more important than love?” I asked, “How did you find me?” She said, “I’ve observed,” “you’ve never scolded Lüping.” I said, “That’s because Lüping hasn’t done anything wrong.” It’s Fei Yunfan who’s got something wrong with his head. It’s not his leg, nor is it his love life. He’s just meddling in other people’s business. Lüping just doesn’t have legs. If Lüping had legs, she would’ve kicked him long ago. Lüping should learn the Eighteen Dragon-Subduing Palms. This really moved me. Finally, someone is on my side. Or rather, finally someone is standing on the side of truth. A few years ago, I saw online everyone was criticizing “A Dream of Red Mansions.” I quickly called my friend. I said, “Did you tell anyone?” She said, “No.” “Our time has come.” More than twenty years have passed. We’ve finally waited for this day. Finally, everyone has realized there’s a problem. Turns out, having a problem isn’t the problem. Not having a problem is the real problem. When I was a child, I had these questions because I loved to think, had my own opinions, and was different from others, not bound by traditional ideas and value systems, and I was also very smart. I know this part is a bit too long. But there’s nothing I can do about it. I just have too many strengths. When I realized I had these problems, it was because I love to think and have my own opinions, and I’m different from others, not bound by traditional ideas and value systems. And also, I’m really smart. I just want to travel back in time and tell my childhood self I would say to her, “Hello, I’m your future self. Don’t worry. You didn’t get married, but also, you don’t have a job. How did you survive? Let’s just say heaven has mercy. I’m here today mainly to tell you two things. First, listen to your parents. Don’t watch TV dramas. They really do want what’s best for you. Second, there’s nothing wrong with you. It’s the TV dramas that are the problem. The problems you have are because you love to think and have your own opinions, you’re different from others, not bound by traditional ideas and value systems, and you’re really smart. Alright. You can practice the Eighteen Dragon-Subduing Palms. Thank you, everyone. I’m Xiao Li. All four lights, full votes. That’s awesome. Impressive. Wang Xiaoli’s vote-locking channel is open. Let’s give another round of applause to Xiaoli. Xiaoli went through some ups and downs in the second round. So, were you nervous today? Very nervous. But after I saw Gao Han’s performance, I really felt a huge sense of relief. Yeah, I just thought, I’ll just let go and perform. Even that kid Gao Han can still perform. Very steady. Because she’s so smart and clever or something. How does that whole line go? Can we learn it? Because I love to think, I have my own opinions, and I’m unique, not bound by traditional ideas, and value systems, and also very smart. Alright, I can’t remember it all. That’s amazing. In some ways, the second round for you, did it feel discouraging? Not at all. I was really happy in the second round. Because I just barely made it in with the lowest votes. I got in with exactly the minimum votes. Because before, I always kind of vaguely felt that the world revolved around me. But I had no proof. So cool. Beautiful. I found it in the second round. Because Xiaokuai’s ticket was exactly the same as mine. And that got me in. So for you, the second round is the best proof that the world revolves around you. The best evidence. Yes. That’s great. Luyu was the first to film. Yes. Listening to it later, I was very moved and excited. Not long ago, I did a show with Xiaopa. At that time, I thought of that Bob Dylan song. It’s about how a person has to go through so many roads before becoming a real person. I wanted to turn the person in that song into a metaphor for a woman. How many roads must a girl walk before she becomes a woman? On this journey of ours, there are so many pitfalls we might fall into. But in the end, we can all climb out by ourselves. I think in the end, we can find the answer. So just now, her part at first made me laugh a lot, but in the end, I was deeply moved. So a special thanks to Xiaoli. Thank you, Teacher Luyu. She chose two female characters that we are all very familiar with. And they are both very classic female roles. And it seems that through the passage of time, the timeline has been brought to the present. Her doubts about them in this current moment have finally received some response. I think this approach is actually very clever. Especially the part at the end where she travels back in time. Yes. She speaks to her younger self and says those words. I found that part especially moving. Yes. Because sometimes I hear that song by Rene Liu called “Continue – To My 15-Year-Old Self”. Every time I hear it, I am deeply touched. It’s the same feeling as you described. You really want to travel back in time and tell your younger self not to be afraid. The mistakes you’re making now aren’t really mistakes. They’re just a kind of accumulation in life. A kind of preparation before starting out. That feeling is especially deep. So I think it’s a really wonderful presentation. First, we have to thank Xiaokuai. In the previous round, she did very well but got a low score. After the score was pulled down to a lower threshold, such an outstanding contestant was saved. It’s all what I should have done. What do I especially like about her works? It’s that she seems to ramble on, making a point in a way that sounds unreasonable, but it’s actually something very upright. That’s always been her style. It seems illogical on the surface, Right. but in fact, it’s very reasonable. What she says is always very proper and correct. That’s what I really like. Because, as you’ve seen, the story of Miss Thirteen and Young Master An, Miss Thirteen, you know, that Young Master An is clearly useless, but Miss Thirteen is a heroine, she’s beautiful and cool, comes from a prestigious family and is skilled in martial arts, and she sticks by and protects this useless guy no matter what. And even though we’re seeing it from a male perspective, watching it makes us feel uneasy. He’s obviously useless, and she’s protecting him the whole time. She fell in love at first sight. Right? We’ve never seen someone like that. I used to talk about this when I was a kid too. But our teacher back then said I just liked to talk nonsense. So I got a lot of criticism for it later. After many years, seeing that you have a similar way of thinking as I do, I was really touched. Thank you so much, Xiaokuai. Very good. Thank you, Teacher Luo. And what I especially like about Xiaoli is something I really, really appreciate She has this quality where she always emphasizes the importance of self-love It’s a very important perspective Right? Just now you said that the world revolves around her or revolves around me Even though I know that’s a joke I still think that for someone to simply acknowledge their own excellence is really difficult Because just as I’m about to admit I’m good there are a thousand reasons telling you that you still have weaknesses and shortcomings But you still firmly believe that your existence alone gives you value Yes, exactly I believe Xiaoli will encourage a lot of people We are wonderful beings We are excellent Let’s believe in ourselves, okay? I’d like to hear from Teacher Niaoniao I also felt Xiaoli’s performance had a sense of calm It’s like I can exist peacefully I can do that too No matter what I look like on the outside I feel very grounded inside And I think in this respect it’s something to be admired Teacher Xiaoli is my spiritual totem Thank you, Teacher Niaoniao Thank you, Xiaoli, for bringing us this wonderful performance Xiaoli She isn’t encouraging herself to be like this. She just lives this way. Xiaoli’s inner world is like living in my dreams. It’s about daring to admit that I am excellent. To this world, no matter if it’s mutual effort or not, I am always the best one. Love her. That thing Xiaoli said really shocked me. As soon as she finished speaking, my scalp felt like it was electrified. Then I couldn’t say something like that. But I think she looks upward. I usually look downward. Thank you, Sister Xiaoli. She can tell me how to think about things this way. Actually, before Sister Xiaoli went on stage, I was in a really bad state. But when Sister Xiaoli went on stage and said all those things, I stood up and applauded every word. I really want to be someone like her. She is at peace with herself. I feel like, with myself, I’m still an outsider. I’m still bullying myself. That’s amazing. Who can say something like that? Only Wang Xiaoli. When someone has great confidence and love for themselves, they can think this way. The next friend who will compete with Xiaoli is also an old friend to everyone. She is full of curiosity about life and about the world of children. She is also full of curiosity. Let’s give a warm welcome to Caicai. Hello everyone, I’m Caicai. Hello. I really enjoy watching kids imitate adults when they play house. It’s very interesting. Just a while ago, I visited a relative’s house. I met two kids, about six or seven years old. One was a little boy, and the other was a little girl. The boy sat on the sofa pretending to drive. The girl sat in the passenger seat. The boy said, “Let’s go.” “Let’s go to Beijing Tongren Hospital to treat infertility.” I thought it was especially cute, because only a man who hasn’t been shaped by society could talk about infertility so proudly. And as everyone knows, visiting relatives is usually very boring. But that day, I wasn’t bored at all. Because I kept guessing which relative these two kids were imitating. Although I think kids are cute, I’m actually really afraid of having children myself. One time, I was at a café and saw a father and his son. The dad was wearing headphones and working. Then he handed his phone to the kid to play with. The kid then started playing something out loud on the phone. He was using the phone’s speaker to watch a movie commentary. The commentary started like this: “If you haven’t seen this movie,” “then you don’t know what” “real adults-only content is.” I wanted to remind his dad, but I hesitated for a moment, because I kind of wanted to listen too. It was weird. Why did this kid come across this video so quickly? Maybe his dad when he’s not working, even if he seems free, he’s not really idle. The commentary continued like this: “This girl is called Xiaomei.” “To improve her life,” “she works as a nude model every day.” I’m not making this up. The commentary really said ‘nude.’ I thought I should still remind the parent. But just as I was about to, the kid tapped his dad’s hand and said, “Dad,” “what does ‘nude’ mean?” His dad didn’t even take off his headphones. He said, “What’s guotie?” “Guotie is meat wrapped in a layer of dough.” I thought to myself Isn’t this just nudity? That’s why I’m afraid of having children I’m afraid my child will look at my phone Because children really are easily influenced by their upbringing For example, my parents’ jobs also had some influence on me When I was little, my dad was a veterinarian and my mom worked in family planning My dad’s job was mainly delivering calves and foals My mom too And every day after work, my parents would talk to each other about their day My mom would say Someone had an extra child And my dad would say An animal had an extra litter So my parents’ jobs also influenced the way I think When I was a kid, I read Hans Christian Andersen’s “The Little Mermaid” The Little Mermaid’s mother had six children and I was really confused I wondered Is the mermaid considered a human or a fish? If she’s six fish then my dad should deliver them But if she’s human then she had five extra children But even though both my parents work in fields related to childbirth, I almost never received any sex education. Also, I hit puberty earlier than most. When other girls hadn’t even started their periods yet, I was already growing facial hair. Don’t worry, I shaved today. Besides facial hair, I also grew leg hair. And I even had hair on my back. A lot of kids would make fun of me. They said, “You have so much hair, you must be a boy.” So I went home and told my mom. My mom told me, “Having a lot of body hair doesn’t mean you’re a boy. Maybe you have a lot of body hair because you’re born in the Year of the Monkey.” Because I never had any sex education, I could only judge gender by the most superficial traits. When I was little, I was the only one among my peers in the village who had an authentic Barbie doll. I thought audiences in Shanghai had seen it all. Here’s the thing. Other kids only had those knockoff Barbies that cost two yuan each. The quality was really bad. One time, my childhood friend accidentally pressed down on her Barbie’s chest. It turned into two dents. It wouldn’t pop back up. At that moment, I felt like my Barbie was the most noble princess in the whole village. I even spent my own New Year’s money to buy ten of those knockoff Barbies to be servants for my Barbie. Even though I thought Barbie was very noble, I felt my Barbie was especially noble. But I often heard adults say that a woman still has to get married. So I really wanted to find a husband for my Barbie. But actually, I knew back then Barbie had a boyfriend named Ken, right? But my parents wouldn’t buy me one. So Ken became “not Ken” (a pun: “Ken” sounds like “willing” in Chinese, so “not Ken” means “not willing”). So in the end, I came up with an idea. I picked one at random from those ten knockoff Barbies. I randomly chose one. I shaved its hair off. I cut some of it short. I stuck it above its lip. Then I made it a vest and shorts. Finally, I pressed down its chest so it was flat. I had it marry my Barbie. So I guess I arranged a marriage for foreigners, too. But even though one of them was a knockoff, and the other was authentic, they really weren’t a good match, right? But luckily, they were both Barbie dolls, and the most important thing in an arranged marriage is that “Barbie” part. And from time to time, I would make the two Barbie dolls kiss. Because when I watched TV dramas back then, after the male and female leads kissed, they would soon have a child. So I wanted my dolls to have a child too. Then one day, while I was making the dolls kiss, my mom saw me. She asked me, “What are you doing?” I said, “I want them to have a child.” My mom said, “That’s not how you have a child.” I asked, “Mom, then how are children made?” My mom hesitated for a long time. In the end, I felt like she had made up her mind about something. She told me, “Children come like this: A boy meets a girl, they fall in love, and decide to get married, just like your dad and me. And then the child is one night, the two of them together picked up from the trash can.” Even though my parents didn’t teach me anything about sex education, after I learned to use the internet in middle school, everything I should and shouldn’t have learned I learned online. I could even teach my parents a thing or two. So I think parents still need to teach their children some basic knowledge about physiology. Because if you don’t teach them, there are plenty of people online who will. And even our show will be broadcast online. I can also teach. To all the kids out there, children are not picked up from the trash can. They come from “potstickers” (锅贴, a pun or joke). Alright, thank you everyone. That’s all for now, I wish you all happiness. I’ve cast my vote. Countdown to Caicai’s vote lock. Let’s give another round of applause to Cai Cai. Personally, I prefer the first half. The part about the child. Talking about going to that infertility clinic. Including the part about the naked body. But in the second half, when it talked about Barbie, for me, there was maybe a bit of a cultural disconnect. And then she mentioned later on how since childhood, we haven’t really been that familiar with or understood sex education. That hasn’t changed. But when she said that parents found us in the trash can, that feeling, I’ve heard it before. Because we never learned about these things either. When we were little. When I was a kid, I watched movies on TV. The husband and wife would say to each other, “Dear, let’s have a child.” Then the screen would suddenly go black. And a couple of days later, there would be a child. I thought, this line is magical. You can’t just say it casually. Say it, and it happens. Yeah. So for a long time, for me, it was like your parents telling you that you were picked up from the trash can. It’s funny but also absurd. I thought at least the earlier part had some relatively cute little jokes. And then later on, bring in that kind of thing. Something a bit more intense Because Caicai has many especially adorable qualities If you take some relatively heavier topics Or deeper ones, you know And express them in your best way Find your unique angle and really bring it out I think that would be even better Thank you, teacher Come on We’d like to hear from Teacher Niaoniao I had a question when I heard the second part Because when I was listening I felt you seemed a bit hesitant while speaking And it felt a bit like You were searching for specific words Yes Because I might not be very familiar with the words And actually, I also Kept worrying about things like nudity Whether everyone might find it hard to accept So when I was speaking I wasn’t that confident in expressing it I think sometimes your performance state Is also especially important If you yourself Really believe in it firmly At worst, it can just be edited out, you know? The audience will feel a bit more relaxed Next, we’d like to invite All four members from both groups to come on stage Here they come I’ll just stand with you all Not with Gaohan The three of us will stand together Gaohan Is it because you’re too much of a troublemaker? Chat more with your older sister Xiaoli and Caicai The number of votes they each received is Will you blame me? How could I? It’s not your fault. Xiaoli and Xiaogao, 519 votes Echo Not Bad, 376 votes Congratulations to Xiaoli and Xiaogao for advancing to the next round. Very good. Actually, it should be 290 votes. No, it’s not that easy. The two of us said it long ago. The ones we least want to pick are Right. Caicai and Echo (Ranyong). That just leaves us. Our two teams. I don’t want to end up with Echo (Ranyong) and Caicai. Me neither. Choose Zihao and Seven (Saiwen). Fate plays tricks on people. Then discuss it within your group. Who will face whom. You two decide. I’m pretty close with both of them. There’s really no choice. We don’t spend much time together. And both of us are the type who respect each other. How do you know I respect you? You can’t give Gao Han too much respect. I’m just afraid he can’t handle it. How does that saying go again? What’s it called? “Too close, he gets arrogant; too distant, he resents it.” I think it’s from the Analects. It means people like that, if you get too close to them, they’ll take advantage of you. But if you keep your distance, they get upset. I think that’s how it goes. But I don’t think you’re that kind of person. I just feel that way. How could you tell? Oh my goodness. Give him too much respect and he gets a bit out of line. Help means knowing that she’s there. I can perform with peace of mind. I think his help is I sent him my script before. Then the next day, he sent me over a dozen messages, correcting each one for me. He even added jokes to my bits. So what role do I play? Like a memo. Because sometimes I’m a bit scatterbrained. When I edit, I sometimes delete some really good stuff. He said, “How could you delete that?” Then he quickly added it back for me. He said, “You, wait, wait, you can’t leave yet. Bring the rest over, I’ll check them one by one for you, to see if anything good was deleted.” Anything good or meaningful. I think that’s great. Her image is very consistent. She’s always the same with everyone. She always shows her true self. But I understand him better now. Actually, I think he is quite sincere and kind. What are these words? What does this have to do with me? Are you trying to flatter me? You really went out of your way to praise me. The two from Echo Not Bad need to wait in the waiting area. In my heart, I hope you can get a high score. Sorry to have let you down. Do you remember the first time we met? The first time I saw her, I thought she was really stylish. But later I realized she was kind of putting on an act. The first time I met Caicai, I felt like she was deliberately trying to hide herself. But as soon as she was on the show, she became the center of attention. If girls really have their period, and their yin energy is strong, then wouldn’t the workplace’s yin energy be really strong too? If Sun Wukong were a woman, the golden headband would become two. They’d be made into underwire bras. The secret of the Great Sage Equal to Heaven. She’s really hellish, right? But don’t blame her, everyone. After all, her mom doesn’t love her either. Caicai is a very smart person. Her scripts, her ideas, on one hand, are logical and structured, but on the other hand, she never gives up her wild and imaginative thoughts. There are four children in our family. The eldest sister, the second sister, me, and my younger brother. Looking at this arrangement, you can tell our family really loves daughters. What exactly is your style Minimalist or something with flair Exposing such important parts Are you out of your minds Consort Xiang I’m here There’s something I really envy about her It’s that she is so at ease in front of the camera Jealousy Envy She says whose books she likes to read She told me I secretly save them too and then read them and try to surpass her A bit of competition, a bit of envy but also a lot of admiration When the other person truly succeeds deep down I genuinely feel happy for her We tease each other and share little secrets Together we play with childish things I’m a Barbie girl In a Barbie world I’m very confident in my content. Who asked? You are like summer. Because you are passionate. You are brilliant. Your radiance is dazzling. Autumn. It has nurtured many things. I think you are quite rich in character. Summer is my favorite season. One of us is like summer, the other is like autumn. Let’s hold hands. True friends. Then let’s face challenges together. Next up to take the stage are two teams of friends: Marilyn Mengrui and Hotpot and Broadsword The first team to take the stage is Marilyn Mengrui Let’s welcome Ruirui Meng Chuan (So handsome) Hello everyone, we are Marilyn Mengrui Here to break your hearts Here to break your hearts The duo facing off against them is Hotpot and Broadsword The two performers are named Hotpot and Broadsword Please give them a warm round of applause (So beautiful) Hello, everyone I’m Hotpot I’m Wang Dadao We are Hotpot and Dadao What about our slogan? Our team slogan is Awooo awooo awooo That was a long buildup Let’s go Alright, we’re leaving Thank you Next up is The Marilyn Mengrui Team This friend is especially unique A young face with a mature look Now middle-aged But still has an innocence that doesn’t match his age Sincere and vulnerable Let’s give a round of applause for Ruirui Hi, everyone I’m Ruirui Thank you, everyone You can tell I’m really happy Because I’ve made it to the third round This round, I want to talk about my dad He didn’t agree He said if you dare talk about me I’ll never take care of you again So I said Let’s make it a deal then I don’t know why My dad has so many sore spots He has so many that it feels like this fish grew backwards There were really a lot of rules. For example, he wouldn’t let me step on manhole covers. Once when I was a kid, I accidentally stepped on a manhole cover. My dad came over and punched me three times. He hit me so hard I was stunned. Then he explained to me, He said, “You just stepped on a manhole cover.” “If I don’t hit you three times,” “you’ll have bad luck for three days.” I thought, as a kid, the unluckiest thing is just getting hit, right? He also wouldn’t let me say anything unlucky. Things like illness, disaster, or death— he wouldn’t let me mention any of them. One day he asked me, “How have you been lately?” I just blurted out, “I’ve been so tired lately.” “I’m afraid I might just drop dead one day.” As soon as I said that, he got really angry. He said, “Ptooey, ptooey, ptooey!” “If you say that nonsense again,” “I’ll beat you to death.” He didn’t like the way I said I’d die. And I feel like my dad is someone who was born just to contradict me. There are so many things he doesn’t understand, but that doesn’t stop him from disagreeing with me. Five years ago, I told him, I said, “Dad,” “I want to do stand-up comedy.” He said, “Absolutely not.” “And also, what is stand-up comedy?” So I found a video, a clip of my open mic performance, and showed it to him. I said, “Take a look.” He said, “Okay, I’ll watch.” Then he said, “Isn’t this just a two-person comic act?” I said, “Keep watching.” After a while, he asked, “Where’s your partner?” I said, “I want to do this,” because I told him I love being on stage. On stage, the spotlight is dazzling. He said, “You might as well work with me.” “What job could be more dazzling than working with your dad?” I said, “That’s true.” “Who could be more dazzling than you?” My dad is a welder. So dazzling. If you look too long, you’ll need eye drops. He’s the one who urged me to learn welding. He kept pressuring me. The reason he gave for me to learn welding— How should I put it— I couldn’t argue with it. Because you wouldn’t understand. At the time, he said this to me— He said, “You’re already 31,” “and you don’t even know how to weld.” There was more to that sentence. “No girl would like you.” I said, “What girl would” “like me just because I can weld?” What, she can’t afford a sparkler herself? Imagine I’m on a blind date with a girl, and she says we’re not a good match. She says, “I have to go.” I say, “Wait a second.” Then I pull out a welding torch. Now what? She says, “Then I really have to run.” But I’m not worried. Because I’ve already welded the door shut. He used this to convince me. My dad says that’s called “rough words, but sound reasoning.” But I think “rough words, but sound reasoning” means even if my words are crude, they still make sense. But he thinks as long as his words are crude enough, they must make sense. That was the most intense argument I ever had with him. In the end, I got a bit anxious. I said, “Dad, remember this,” “I will never be a welder in this lifetime.” He got angry as soon as I said that. He started labeling me. He said, “You look down on welders.” I said, “If we’re going to argue, let’s argue properly.” “Don’t be like those argumentative people online.” “You don’t use any logic at all.” “Just labeling me isn’t right.” I’m even afraid he’ll cyberbully me. I’m especially scared that while we’re arguing, my dad will suddenly pull out his phone and record me. And say, “Look at this person,” “he looks down on welders.” The argument really scared me. In the end, nothing really came of it. After the argument, I reflected on it myself. I think maybe I was a bit too rebellious and intense. I sent him a really long message to apologize. My dad is very stubborn. I was afraid he wouldn’t forgive me. But after I sent the apology, I realized I was being narrow-minded. He had already deleted me. That was the first time he deleted me. But it wasn’t the last time. Getting deleted by him scared me. At the time, I complained to my friends. I said, “It’s over.” “My dad deleted me.” My friends tried to comfort me. They said, “It’s okay.” “Old people are all like this.” “My dad deletes me too.” Sometimes my face even gets slapped swollen. I said, “That’s not what I meant.” After that time, the two of us our relationship really wasn’t very good. How should I put it? You could say we were like father and son. I don’t know how often you all contact your family. I rarely get in touch. I can’t reach them. There really has always been a barrier between us. Up until May the year before last, something happened. In May, two years ago, my dad suddenly had a heart attack. Then, at the hospital in our hometown, he had a stent surgery. At that time, I was the only one who could rush back to the hometown hospital to take care of him. To be honest, I felt a bit sad as soon as I entered the hospital. Because in my heart, my dad was always so strong and upright. It was the first time in my life I saw him like that. A man who had been tough his whole life, now just a little old man, wearing a hospital gown, lying on the hospital bed, staring blankly. He was filled with fear of death. For example, in the morning, the doctor would do rounds. He was the first one the doctor checked on. After checking, the doctor would give me a few instructions. Then the doctor would leave. He would get very nervous. He asked me, He said, “Son,” “Is it over?” “Why is Dr. Zhao not smiling much today?” I told him, “He came to see us first,” “that’s a good sign,” “it’s not easy to get that.” Amazing. Impressive. You can really tell. I was deliberately trying to stay relaxed. Because it was my first time experiencing something like my father being hospitalized. I was falling apart inside too. But I didn’t dare show it. Because it would affect him. So I pretended to be strong. Every day, I smiled while getting water. Smiled while getting food. Smiled while chatting with him. Even the patient in the next bed was confused. He said, “You’re sick, but your son seems so happy.” I stayed with him for seven days that time. To be honest, I really cherished those seven days. Because we rarely had the chance to spend time alone together like that. Sometimes it was even a little awkward. But I treasured it. I didn’t even use my phone. I didn’t do anything else. Every day, I just chatted with him. Once, during a conversation, I asked him, I said, “Dad, about not learning welding from you, are you really mad at me for that?” My dad told me in a hoarse voice, He said, “How could a father and son ever truly be angry at each other?” “Whether you learn welding or not, you’re still my good son.” “Can I have some water now?” I said, “If you’d had this attitude earlier, we could’ve had water two days ago.” I said your voice sounds a bit hoarse. I’m just trying to lighten the mood. At that time, I was really scared. The reason I was scared was he had just finished his surgery. There was also something called a 48-hour critical observation period. You have to wait for the doctor to give you a definite update. The mental pressure during those two days was overwhelming. I was praying every single moment. I was especially afraid. Then, until the doctor came to find me, and told me personally, he said, “Your dad is fine now.” Just a little more time, let’s observe a bit longer, and then he can be discharged. I hadn’t cried for so many days. But after hearing those words, my tears just started flowing. Then I went back to the ward in tears. I said, Dad, I said, the doctor said there was still some time left before he collapsed. His mindset was really bad. And after that surgery, the doctor told him that work like welding was something he couldn’t do anymore. When he found out he couldn’t earn money anymore, and that the surgery had cost a lot, he started to feel like he had become a burden. Then he stopped listening to the doctor and forced himself to go out and look for work. He pushed through for about ten days. When he came back, he told me that welding isn’t a job for people. I took out my phone and said, look, this person looks down on welders. He’s much gentler now. One day, he even asked me, He said, What exactly is stand-up comedy? Is it a good job? Is it tiring? I said, it’s okay. I said, because there are quite a lot of audience members, and they really like me. I started sharing with him. I told him there was one show that was especially successful, it was a real hit. Then an audience member bought me a cup of milk tea. After thinking for a while, he asked me, He said, Did they give it to you on their own? I thought, would I really snatch someone’s milk tea? But I didn’t dare say that. I said yes. They gave it to me willingly. He paused again. He said, Did you thank them? I felt like he didn’t have much left to teach me. To reassure him, I said, don’t worry, I thanked them. I said, I always say it. I said, Thank you, everyone. I’m Ruirui. Brother Rui has become complete on this stage. With my supervisor mom and welder dad, and my rural life, the last piece of the puzzle has been put in place. Ruirui ticket lock countdown. Thank you. Thank you, everyone. This is the first time Rui Rui has made it to the third round. It’s my first time reaching this round. I’m really happy. Very happy. So I’m a bit relaxed today. Yes. The state. I’ve gotten much more used to this stage. So, listening to this— —the content from the small group. Dad has already pulled you back in again. He created another group again. He deleted it several times. Because there was still a lot left unsaid in the group, many people pleaded with him at the time. He’s really stubborn. Even relatives pleaded with him. They also tried to persuade him. A lot of family members tried to talk him out of it. Whoever tried to persuade him, he deleted. He deleted a whole bunch of people. So in the end, was your dad the only one left in the group? How is that even a group then? That’s something else. Every family has a group like that. They’re all that kind of group. A “Love and Harmony” group. Yeah, in our family, everyone is family, not guests. We call it the “No Guests Group.” “No Guests Group”—that’s a good one. Ruirui is amazing. Teacher Shaogang and I every time we see this kind of breakthrough from Ruirui, we’re really happy for you. Teacher Shaogang says you’re like a brand new person. Right? It’s like you’ve grown anew. You’re the new “Rui” now. Not a single serious word. I think you are that seed. You’ve finally sprouted. And then, at this moment, the water and everything were just right. The sunlight was perfect. You suddenly burst out. I’m really, really happy for you. Super happy for you. Thank you, teacher. Today, Rui Rui’s script was a bit difficult. Especially the part in the middle where he was taking care of his dad in the hospital, that long section. That part was amazing. The way he described the process. At that moment, he was already immersed. I was even worried for him. I thought, at this point, should he go for a more emotional approach? Right. But then he just started with an opening. The opening. It wasn’t easy at all. That moment was great. That joke was added by Teacher Niao Niao and Teacher Haiyuan. They helped me put it in. Thank you, teachers. Thank you, teachers. I feel the same as the teacher. When he talked about the hospital ward, I thought, if this turned sentimental, I would feel that it was originally quite impressive, the earlier text was really exquisite, but if it became sentimental, I would look down on you. But in the end, the balance was handled very well and it turned back. And it made everyone really happy. I especially like seeing those who at first seem not particularly outstanding, but as soon as they appear, they really shine. But after a few times, everyone might not have much expectation. Then suddenly, they transform completely. Just like he said, it’s like becoming a new person. A new “Ruila”. A new “Ruila”. Let’s call it that. I’m really happy. I hope there will be even better performances later. Thank you, Teacher Luo. I’ll keep working hard. And keep it up. I completely agree with what they said. I just want to share a story with Rui Rui. You can tell your dad. Tell him this: Many great stand-up comedians have fathers who do welding and love welding. There’s an actor I really like. His name is Robin Williams. He has already passed away. In 1997, with Good Will Hunting, he won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor. When he went on stage to give his acceptance speech, he said, “I thank my father in heaven.” He once told me, “It’s great to be a stand-up comedian, but don’t forget welding. Keep welding as your backup job.” That’s just how families are. Is his dad a welder? His dad is, too. His dad means that stand-up comedy might not be such a stable profession. Never forget you still have welding to fall back on. It can be your strong support. Robin Williams’ dad was a welder. A Shandong dad. An American. An American Shandong dad. Come on, let’s give another round of applause to Rui Rui. Thank you, everyone. Rui Rui, take a short break in the waiting area. Rui Rui is blooming. Rui Rui has already sprouted. You can’t stop him from sprouting. The way he comes up with punchlines has so many twists. I hope Rui Rui will always be here. And be seen by more people. To have a one-on-one with Rui Rui is someone who, this season, left a deep impression on us—an experienced police officer. Stay steady. In the previous two rounds, she shared with us her new stories as a border police officer. Today, she’s going to make a new friend in stand-up comedy. Please welcome Hotpot. Hello, everyone. I’m Hotpot. Please remember that moment just now. That’s usually when my jokes get the biggest laughs. I used to be a border police officer in Yunnan. I did that for over ten years. Thank you. Actually, I have some professional habits. A few years ago, my mom set me up on a blind date. The person I was supposed to meet was her colleague’s son. His last name was Zhang. He was a local who sold jade. After we met, Boss Zhang started off by saying, “Bro, when I went to Thailand for fun, I casually bought some bracelets. Buddy, just take whichever one you like.” But what I saw was Zhang, from Yunnan, with an ID number starting with 530, pretending to be from Beijing, really just pretending to be from Beijing, mud on his shoes, the bracelets were fake, Take whichever one I like, huh? I wanted to arrest him. Zhang started looking for topics to talk about. He asked me, What do you think, what do you think “er” means? What is “er”? “Memories by the Water’s Edge” Was it filmed realistically? What did I just hear? I said, I haven’t really watched it. He said, “Memories by the Water’s Edge” is so well made and you don’t watch it? I said, After you get off work, do you still watch your own work surveillance footage? That day, Zhang told me about his business in Thailand. I told him about a case involving online nude chats. You can only have either work or love. The two of us didn’t work out. I guess that’s also anti-fraud publicity. Later, word spread at my mom’s workplace. They said her daughter is a police officer who specializes in investigating online nude chats. Actually, these are just small habits. They’re harmless. But some habits really make me uncomfortable. I used to be a veteran police officer. Now I’m a rookie actor. When I came to join this show, I actually can’t help subconsciously observing the other actors. These people, none of them can keep a secret. They sit in the contestant area and say, It’s fine. I don’t care. I have a proper job. If I’m eliminated, I’ll just go to work. When you say that, you’re rubbing your pants, you know? You’ve rubbed the seam of your pants open. Seven I asked a veteran actor, I said, “How was my performance?” He said, “It’s fine.” “Just perform with confidence.” You, learn from me. Relax when you perform. When you say that, your eyes keep glancing to the right, you know? Zhisheng I’m done talking. I’m doomed. My only option now is to add more jokes, right? He said, “Just relax.” For example, I also observe the club owner. A group of people sitting there, barely get any screen time the whole show. They only sit up straight when the writers are being interviewed. Now it’s too late to sit up straight. The police have already reconstructed the scene. But as soon as the performer nails it, their eyes light up. You think they’re here to cheer you on, but they’re actually here to pick up new material. On this side is the mentor, and on this side is the “boss.” Our boss, Wu Yang. I mention his name because no one actually knows who he is. It’s so obvious when Wu Yang watches my performance. Whenever my joke doesn’t land, his hair starts to get greasy. If he were a suspect, he’d confess in five minutes. I also observe the guest mentors. There’s one mentor— I won’t say who it is. It’s pretty hard to guess. He keeps doing jumping jacks on his chair. Is it me? Finally, it’s my turn. The performer’s jokes keep coming, and he keeps bouncing too. I’m worried he’ll flip right over the back of the chair. When the performer finishes, the exercise goal is achieved. Last time I performed, that mentor did one jumping jack, and then completely settled down. I knew it was over. The exercise goal couldn’t be reached. Sitting in the waiting area Actually, I feel really sad every time Really sad I think I’m blaming myself, you know? I think, since I’m already here I should at least bring something to this show I sit there and let my mind wander I think I remember at Jacky Cheung’s concerts they always manage in the audience to catch wanted criminals I wonder if I should observe the audience a bit If I can’t bring something then maybe I’ll take something away From now on, as long as I’m here, there will be a full vote here. Only 298 votes are allowed. After the performance that day, the costume director said to me, “Sis, you were so cool.” “I took so many photos of you.” “Look.” I said, “Then, am I funny?” I saw her pupils contract quickly. She said, “Yes, you’re funny.” Actually, everyone is really nice. Everyone is especially nice. There was an actor who had already been eliminated, but still came to comfort me. “Hotpot, your jawline looks great on screen.” I said, “Then, am I funny?” He said, “Hotpot, your jawline looks great on screen.” One thing is, everyone knows you gave it your all, but there was no way to do better. Everyone has had moments like this. Right? You’ll realize everyone starts to find things to praise you for. After the recording, the jumping jacks instructor jumped past me and even said to me, “Great!” “Keep it up!” A few days ago, I kept revising my script. I kept scrapping everything. Then, two days ago, I wrote a 2,000-word script. Not a single joke in it. I asked my good friend Wang Dadao what I should do. She said, “It’s great!” “You’re just great!” “Your path has broadened.” “You should just go and join” “Super Speaker.” I couldn’t tell if she was praising me or roasting me. Actually, I wanted to say everyone doesn’t need to hide it, I get it. Until last time, when Wang Dadao was dancing on stage, her hat fell off, and even our boss’s head got oily. Dadao felt she didn’t perform well. I said, “It’s great!” “Your path has broadened.” “You should just go and join” “This! Is Street Dance.” When I was a police officer, I would expose the truth behind bad people’s words and actions. But as a stand-up comedian, I care more about the things that haven’t been exposed. They’re called friends. Thank you, everyone. I’m Hotpot. Hotpot ticket lock countdown. I think Wait, let me observe for a moment. Hold on. Fill-in-the-blank question. You observed Chun Chun. Do you have any thoughts? Teacher Chun Chun When she laughs really happily, she uses both hands Yes, that’s right. on both sides, like this. Yes. And then Teacher Luo, when he’s extremely happy, he holds his knees with his hands and then his legs start to shake a little. Zhao Lirong then he looks left and right. That’s when you know it’s time to film. Actually, in the last round when I performed, I took a look. One didn’t shake their legs. One didn’t do the jumping jack. It’s actually a bit of a pity today. Your whole performance Not enough time was spent refining it, right? Yes. Two days. Because there are two particularly good sections. One is at the very beginning, during the blind date. You look at this man from a police officer’s perspective. And the other one later on is also from the police officer’s perspective. For example, looking at colleagues, looking at the audience, looking at different things. Your complete work, I think if the whole thing is seen from a police officer’s perspective, observing all kinds of people, it would be something truly impressive, something others simply couldn’t write. Thank you, Teacher Luo. The whole piece is clearly not polished enough. So it’s not refined enough. It’s still a bit rough. So sometimes in the middle, there are longer sections without any punchlines. This kind of problem will occur. But I think with your valuable experience, it’s especially worth using this to make a or even a special show. It’s something no one else can do. Something unique. Thank you, Teacher Luo. I want to ask about hotpot. That person you met who pretended to be from Beijing, where is he actually from? He sells jade in Dehong, Yunnan. But he has been to Beijing. Since then, I don’t know why, but after he came back, he kept speaking in a Beijing accent. He pretended to be a Beijinger. He would say, “I think-er,” His “er” sound was never in the right place. He pronounced “de” as “der,” right? “I think-er,” “side-er, water-er, past-er,” “Liu Der-er Hua” Right. “Guo Der-er Gang” That’s so cute. Randomly adding the “er” sound is really scary. Yeah. There was a kid from Guangdong who wanted to learn the “er” sound. He’s one of the Ten Diligent Days group. Then, Okay. He pointed at a stone by the roadside and told me very seriously, “Teacher Zhang, look,” “little stone son.” I said, “What?” He said, “little stone son.” He meant to say “little stone,” but he didn’t know where to add the ‘er’ sound, whether at the front or the end, so he just added it randomly. That’s why his “de-er de-er” just now really made me laugh too. It was pretty funny. Zhang Shao’er just now Come on. Let’s also invite Ruirui back to the stage. After Ruirui and Hotpot’s performance ends, let’s take a look at the final number of votes they received. I was actually praying here, you know? I knew the votes wouldn’t be too high. You probably knew that too, right? To be honest, because that piece was just not very mature. It’s just that her structure and material were very good, but the time was just too short. At that time, I was praying for 200 votes. I didn’t even hope for 201 votes. I said, “God,” “just give me 200 votes.” “Give me two zeros and a two, please.” At this stage, Rui Rui has won. However, you still need to wait for your teammates. Let’s see how much they can contribute to your team. Let’s give another round of applause to Rui Rui and Hotpot. I have a lot of material. But with my current, still very new skills, I can’t handle it. I’ve been constantly scrapping things. I’ve been rewriting over and over. In the end, this piece was finished the day before yesterday. And I’ve been revising it nonstop. Wang Dadao, let’s go participate together in “Super Speaker.” I think this script actually deserves that number of votes. It matches those votes. The audience’s judgment was correct. Honestly, I’m quite content. The next person to come on stage is also an old friend to everyone. In the first round, he shared with everyone the story of taking his family to Thailand. But that story only went up to the customs checkpoint. Today, he’s going to tell the sequel. Let’s give a warm welcome to Meng Chuan. (Handsome) Hello, everyone. I’m Meng Chuan. This year, I really took my family on a trip to Thailand. To be honest, Thailand is pretty nice. But it’s just too sunny. I got tanned way too fast. I wore a white T-shirt by the beach and strolled around all afternoon. When I got back that night and took off my shirt, it looked like I was still wearing the T-shirt. At that moment, I had an idea. If you follow a pattern, and apply sunscreen on your stomach, in theory, you could tan yourself a tattoo. This might not be useful for people in other parts of the country, but it’s especially useful for people from Shandong. Because this way, you can have a tattoo without affecting your chances of taking the civil service exam. I got three shades darker in just a few days. Whenever I needed facial recognition, it would remind me, “Please move to a well-lit area.” I went to buy cotton candy for my daughter. My dad captured that moment on camera. The photo looked really heartwarming. But the AI automatically recognized the image and gave it a title. It said it was from the 1840s showing American farmers celebrating a cotton harvest. The good thing about being tanned is when I play hide-and-seek with my daughter, as long as I hide in a shady spot, she can’t find me. A black father really is hard for his child to find. Those days, I really got as tanned as the locals. I went snorkeling. Since I can’t really swim, I shared a float board with the instructor. After a while, he choked on water. He shouted “help!” I was shocked. I said, “Aren’t you the instructor?” He was shocked too. He said, “Aren’t you the instructor?” I said, “If I were the instructor, why would I need a float board?” He said, “Right.” How could I be the instructor? So the two of us started shouting “help!” together. Then people around us said, “Hurry, go save those two instructors!” Later, I also tried parasailing. That’s where you wear a parachute and a boat pulls you up into the sky. My dad wanted to try it. But I teased him. I said, “Forget it, right?” “Pulling an old man up into the sky—” “—looks just like bin Laden.” I went up to try it myself. My daughter was really happy. She said, “Usually Dad flies kites, but today the kite is flying Dad!” Then my dad, my mom, my father-in-law, and mother-in-law thought this seemed like something that would make the kids happy. So they let me go higher and higher. That day, everyone only cared about how high I was flying. A loving mother’s thread in her hand, her child flying in the sky. I was up in the sky watching four elderly people gather around a child, trying to make her laugh and it made me think of a historical anecdote called “The Beacon Fire Prank on the Lords” The key thing was, the weather that day was really bad with dark clouds overhead which involuntarily reminded me of Franklin’s lightning experiment The paraglider looked just like a kite and the metal that attracts lightning was me, this “iron straight man” And think about it, after all these years of doing stand-up I’ve told plenty of dark jokes which made me even more scared Before I went up, I even searched online I searched for “parachute lightning protection over the sea” but all the results were “lightning-proof sea parachutes” And if I got struck by lightning, I’d definitely trend online with headlines like “Chinese master fails his tribulation in Thailand” I was really scared Because in the past when we visited graves in Shandong we would always talk to our ancestors at the grave about what progress the kids made that year So every year, at the grave they play my stand-up routines That’s amazing. Of course I was scared. I said, “Dad, isn’t this a bit inappropriate?” What if the King of Hell thinks this kid is kind of interesting and wants to bring him down to play with? Now the opportunity has come. And the next day, we were going to see a giant Buddha. It was the Thai driver who was hosting us. His Chinese wasn’t very good. So I asked him, I said, “Sir,” “where are we going now?” He said, “I’m taking a few of you to see the Buddha.” Actually, I really enjoy chatting with monks. I also have monk friends back home. Sometimes, when I’m playing Honor of Kings, I often see them online. They really do play. I have a monk friend who is very persistent in his own way. He only plays the roaming role. He just heals people. He’s always saving others. It was the first time I’d seen someone accumulating merit in the King’s Canyon. He always says, “Saving a life is better than building a seven-story pagoda.” Pagoda means tower. He’s building his own pagoda while pushing the enemy’s towers. This time in Thailand, I was also fortunate to meet someone who is a graduate student at a Buddhist university. To be precise, a research monk. He also knows some Chinese. So I chatted with him. I told him I’m a stand-up comedian. He said, “Your profession is pretty good.” “You bring happiness to people,” “That’s also a way of helping others.” I felt quite happy inside, but I stayed humble on the outside. I said, “Just a little help, just a little.” Then the temple’s speaker system said, “I’m here.” I sincerely asked him, “If I make a joke that offends the Buddha, would he get angry?” He said, “The Buddha wouldn’t get angry,” “but the monks might.” “As long as it’s not intentional, it’s fine.” In this temple, there was an incident before. In this temple, someone whose Chinese wasn’t very good, a person in charge of writing publicity, when he was writing an introduction, he wrote “relics” as “cherries” by mistake. So in that introduction, it said the eminent monk was cremated for three days, and three cherries came out, even giving off a unique fragrance. I said, “What if it was a monk from Chile?” This bit is a level 4J joke. He said, “Sinful, sinful.” I said, “While I’m in China,” “I’ve never even been drunk.” He also advised me, “If you’ve done anything you feel guilty about,” “and it’s hard to talk about,” “you can tell Buddha.” I said, “Maybe next time.” “This time I’m only staying for a week.” “My messes would probably take a month to explain.” He said, “Our temple also has online services.” “You can confess online.” I said, “I’m worried.” “If I confess,” “you’ll organize it and send me a PDF.” He said, “After the person who made mistakes left,” “the temple is now hiring” “a new media operator.” “New media operations are so advanced in our country.” I wanted to share some experience with him. I said, “Here’s what you do:” “You just say,” ‘Today is Buddha Shakyamuni’s birthday,’ ‘Forward this to five groups,’ ‘and you’ll automatically become an Arhat.’ He told me that the job requires a degree from a prestigious university. I said, isn’t the Buddha supposed to save all beings? So why not save those with just an ordinary bachelor’s degree or less? He said that’s normal. We don’t discriminate. But the world does. The abbot of this temple just got a “water master’s” degree. Because he quoted too many Buddhist scriptures, his thesis didn’t pass the plagiarism check. I said, you even talk with flow. I said, you all have graduate degrees now. Why not just have him do the promotion directly? He said no. Because monks don’t lie. After a while, his master arrived. He asked his master, the one with the “water master’s” degree, He said, Master, the link you sent me for the Buddhist lecture doesn’t open anymore. His master said, then change your IP address. My first thought was “Buddha Jumps Over the Wall.” His master told me that the reason you’re surprised is because you still make distinctions in your mind You tend to think that this kind of person will definitely act a certain way and that kind of person definitely won’t act that way As for me, I don’t have any profound enlightenment either All I can really do is that every year, when someone asks me if I want to bring the audience some free happiness this year when it’s time to offer a little kindness I say yes I offer it Thank you, everyone I’m Meng Chuan Meng Chuan’s ticket lock countdown Let’s give Meng Chuan another round of applause It’s still Meng Chuan So impressive The moment I clapped for was “Buddha Jumps Over the Wall” But I kept hearing Teacher Luo kept laughing at one part “la deng” Yes, that’s right Because I’m an “old deng” They call middle-aged people “old deng” now So when he said “la deng” just now Yeah I felt really happy Even though he didn’t call on me, it felt even better than being called on I was especially happy You old deng Why aren’t you laughing? Why don’t you think it’s funny? I think you’re even funnier I think you’re trying to pretend you’re not an old deng Think about it again I’m a “middle deng” Let’s pull down the light cord Thank you. I find it really funny. It’s because he’s already talked about Thailand several times. You know, when most people talk about something and split it into several parts, you’d think they’re just dragging it out. But he’s not like that. He boils it down into a super rich soup. Like Buddha Jumps Over the Wall. I think that’s really impressive. Thank you. I’m the one who filmed it during Xiaodu Xiaodu. I really loved it. This is the kind of joke you like. I knew it right then. It was just so funny. I was It was so interesting. And as for Meng Chuan, every time he does this stand-up routine, the jokes come so fast that everyone keeps applauding. Not even a single mosquito can leave this place alive. You know? Keep filming. I think Meng Chuan’s standards for himself aren’t just about having a joke every few minutes anymore. It’s about having one every few seconds. You go by the word. Right? Actually, I try to shorten the setup as much as possible. That way, the density can be higher. Right? He already feels that this word has already gone over ten characters. And there’s still no punchline in between. This is something that I can’t accept. The punchline has to fit within the word count. He can make it that dense. After all, he started as a head writer. He’s really impressive. Thank you, thank you. Meng Chuan is also someone that whenever he appears on this stage, everyone feels completely at ease with this stand-up comedian. Let’s give another round of applause to Meng Chuan. And thank you to the audience as well. Mainly, I feel a bit of pressure. I’m afraid that by telling these jokes, you might feel that laughing at them is bad karma. Thank you Meng Chuan, take a break The one who will compete against Meng Chuan I must give a grand introduction to this stand-up comedian who, in this season of the show has come into everyone’s view Yes Their performance style is very unique Everyone, please settle down and enjoy carefully Let’s welcome with applause Wang Dadao Good luck Wishing you some good luck Here he comes Wang Dadao Daozi Go, Dadao! Hello, everyone. I’m Wang Dadao. Do you have dreams? (No.) I want to have one. I really want to find a job that I’m both good at and enjoy. That way, I feel my life would be especially meaningful. When I graduated from college, my first job was working as an auditor at a firm. I was full of hope at the time. After I joined the company, the first assignment I received was to go to a rural area in Yunnan and inventory the client’s biological assets. I had to do a stocktaking job. In other words, count the client’s chickens. To protect the hygiene and safety of these chickens, before entering these different chicken coops, I had to shower, disinfect, and wear a mask. It was winter. That day, I took a shower many times. After I entered the chicken coop, I found that those chickens were defecating and urinating everywhere inside. It was very noisy inside. Hundreds of chickens were all clucking at once. It was unbearably loud. But I could really understand them. Because if I were at work and while working, my coworker suddenly disappeared and never came back, I would also shout. But they were shouting way too loudly. I was honestly a bit overwhelmed. I yelled, “Shut up!” Not a single chicken paid attention to me. That day, I counted twenty thousand chickens. After I got back to Kunming, the first thing I did was go to McDonald’s. I had a big meal. But inventory tasks like counting chickens are actually very simple for auditing. What it really requires is meticulous logic and sensitivity to numbers. I have neither. I did it for three years. Honestly, I didn’t do well. It was also very painful. So I thought, maybe I should be good at creative work. So I went to a media company. Once again, I was full of hope. When I first started there, my boss wanted to take me to dinner with a client. I really, really really, really hate talking about work while eating. Because I love eating so much. When I’m eating, I can’t hear what others are saying. A woman on the verge of a breakdown. My boss said it was fine, we wouldn’t talk about work tonight. That night, we had hot pot. I’m from Sichuan. I really love hot pot. I just stared at the hot pot. I thought, the potatoes need one more minute to cook. Beef tripe, 15 seconds. Duck tongue. The duck tongue is ready to eat. You know, the timing is just right. You know? At that moment, my whole soul and body were immersed on the tip of the duck tongue. I said, “It’s so delicious!” Too tender. At that moment, a voice called out, Wang Dadao, what did you think just now about what Mr. Zhang said? I said, Mr. Zhang… Who? I was really angry at that moment. Because that duck tongue was still in my mouth. You know, duck tongue Duck tongue is different from tripe and beef. Duck tongue requires you to use your teeth and the tip of your tongue to carefully savor it, like a work of art. A work of art. Alright. If you want to talk about work, then we shouldn’t be eating hotpot. Hotpot is about eating things as soon as they’re cooked. You have to eat them right away. Right? Tripe only needs to be cooked for 15 seconds. Beef is done as soon as it changes color. Duck intestines should be eaten as soon as they curl. Celtuce should be eaten while it’s still crunchy. If you don’t eat it, it gets tough. But I couldn’t just ignore him, right? So I said, Mr. Zhang made a great point. He said that just now, Mr. Zhang mentioned that this project should be given to another company. At that moment, I felt like I was really unprofessional, right? I guess I’m just not professional. He said not to talk about work. So I thought we really wouldn’t talk about work. It’s been two years for me. I always fail to catch his implied meaning. I’m not good at picking up on information. But I’m really good at picking out crispy tripe. You know, it’s been five years. Five years and I still haven’t found a job that I’m good at and also enjoy. When I’m walking down the street, when I’m on the bus, before I go to sleep, I listen to Liu Cong’s “Hey KONG”. Have you heard it? It’s Liu Cong at 15 years old talking to his future self. At 15, he wrote a letter to his future self. He asked himself, he said, How much longer will days like this last? Will I ever become a rapper? Every time I hear that, I end up in tears. I think, at 15, he already knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to be a rapper. Wang Dadao, you’re in your twenties. You’re almost 30. And you still don’t know what you want to do. I thought about making a living by doing auditing, but ended up counting chickens. You know, I can’t even do rap. And then… I went to Beijing to see Martin Luther King. The “I Have a Dream” memorial event. I watched that documentary. I just couldn’t stop crying. Tears were streaming down my face. I said, well done, Martin Luther King. You had a dream, and you made it come true. You really are You really are amazing. Tears were streaming down my face. I told my friend, I cried so much watching Martin Luther King. My friend said, Only Black people cry when they watch Martin Luther King. I felt really sad. I’ve shed a lot of tears over these five years. I keep thinking about these things. Then, when I went home for the New Year, I went to see my dad. My dad is a very, very special person. He works as a security guard at a bank. Thank you. That was a joke. He works as a security guard. I went to see him. Then he shared something with me. He said, “Recently, Dad noticed that some highly educated people aren’t actually that capable.” I asked, “Why, Dad?” He said, “Not long ago, the bank got an intern who studied in Australia, from a top university.” “A male intern.” “A few days ago, the manager asked him to find a thermos in the office.” “He searched for half an hour and couldn’t find it.” “But as soon as I went in, I found it right away.” I asked, “Why, Dad?” He said, “Because I was the one who hid the thermos.” My dad is that kind of person. I was sitting in the bank lobby at the time. I still felt pretty sad. I said, How much longer will days like this last? Can I really become a rapper? Then he suddenly said to me, He said, Today, Dad has prepared three gifts for you. The first gift is saline solution Dad made himself. You have rhinitis, remember to use it. And a letter Dad wrote for you. Here, take it. Say thank you. (Thank you.) Thank you. The second gift Dad prepared for you Here, a thermos. And the third gift (Thank you.) is osmanthus flowers Dad picked this morning. They smell especially nice. Take a sniff. (It smells good.) Doesn’t it smell good? (It does.) When I smelled the osmanthus at that moment, I really wanted to cry. I almost cried. Because I realized it had been so long since I had truly smelled the scent of osmanthus. I thought about my life, how I’m always talking about dreams and meaning. My dad’s everyday thermos and osmanthus flowers Sometimes I wonder if my dreams are like that thermos hidden away by someone I just sat there and I said I said, Dad, do you have any dreams? What is your dream? He said Dad’s dream is to ride a bike to many many, many places I realized my dad has dreams too Then he suddenly said to me again He said This osmanthus really smells nice Smell it again Smell it again Thank you, everyone I’m Wang Dadao Come on Countdown to Wang Dadao’s ticket lock Let’s give another round of applause to Dadao. Dadao, would you say you’ve now found what you really want to do? Sort of. It’s okay. But I’m still not sure. And also, what’s your dream now? Mime performance, right? Can you smell the fragrance of these osmanthus flowers? Stand-up comedy, I guess. Yeah, it must be. I really like comedy. But I don’t know how long I can keep doing it. Or what I’ll achieve with it. You should do it. Dadao. This is a very unique stand-up comedy performance. It’s more like a one-person theatrical performance. Do you know what it really reminds me of? It’s like how we really love watching “Fleabag”. That girl, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, she performed in a one-woman stage play. That’s why I say you shouldn’t be afraid. Because it can be a long, extended solo stage performance. Honestly, at first it feels a bit strange. You don’t really know what to do. But by the time you’re two-thirds through, you’ve already drawn us in. Only two-thirds in? As someone from Chengdu, I was hooked as soon as you mentioned duck tongue. Yes That part made me laugh really hard. And I absolutely cannot allow people to talk to me about work while eating. So during that part, I was completely immersed in it. And I was laughing out loud. She was talking about potatoes, about beef tripe, and about duck intestines. I was thinking about how I really dislike those people who throw the lettuce slices in first. Eating a piece like that must be really relatable. I’ve liked her a lot since her very first show. When I watch her, I see something I can’t find in any other performer. When I watch her stand-up, I laugh while also feeling a bit scared. With this innocent guy there was intense interaction. Yes. He had no idea he was going to receive three gifts. That boy was really nice. If I were to see Dadao’s live show, I definitely wouldn’t dare sit in the front row. Because it’s too scary. Especially that kind of interaction just now. If it happened to me, I might faint on the spot. It’s rare to feel both fear and want to laugh at the same time. She has a kind of creepy charm. Is that what you mean? Yes. She has that black hole-like kind of ability to draw you into the perspective and gaze of a “madman” to see the world. And you get completely drawn in. And Dadao has a particularly funny thing, which is about a really trivial matter. Like whether tripe is crunchy or not. It feels like hearing terrible news. The tripe isn’t crunchy anymore. Then she started on stage and began to run. She just started running. Yes. It was just like Stephen Chow’s “God of Cookery”. Take a bite. Outrageous! That’s great. And then it’s that kind of sudden, inexplicable happiness. Then everyone followed her and felt it would be wrong not to join in. Then you enter a fantastical world. It’s especially beautiful. Yes. Once again, let’s give a round of applause to Wang Dadao. Wang Dadao really reminds me of those underground musicians I used to know. They always played with leaving blanks. They’d just say one thing, something mysterious, and let you figure it out yourself. She’s like a painter. Even a single dot is a painting. If you cut the canvas, that’s also a painting. Everything is up to your own interpretation. Because if it allows you to keep interpreting it in different ways, that’s what makes it good art. To be honest, I didn’t really understand what she was trying to express. And then, how should I put it, when it comes to artistic creation, having multiple interpretations isn’t a bad thing. And all the laughter built up earlier, along with the wonderful performances, were already enough to hit the buzzer. Because for a while, I had already developed an obsession with this thing. At that time, I wasn’t sure what I could actually do well, what I was good at, or what I liked. So I went to watch the movie “Soul.” That movie says there’s a word in it called “spark.” But it’s not actually talking about talent. It’s not about being really good at something. It’s about your sensitivity to life. Like when he walks out the door and sees that leaf on the tree falling from the top of the tree, his spark is ignited. I realized that I was always thinking about distant, big, abstract things, and seemed to overlook the small, subtle things right in front of me. Actually, those things are what I should be experiencing. I truly feel that I’m already very happy now. It’s just that— I can have time to do what I want to do I really cherish this summer every performance by Wang Dadao always makes us feel surprised and also brings us endless joy Let’s invite Meng Chuan back to the stage At the same time, let’s also invite Ruirui and Huoguo to come up on stage Let’s hug too Ruirui is like a little puppy Let’s first take a look at Meng Chuan and Wang Dadao The final number of votes they received is two hundred seventy-eight votes again, two hundred seventy-eight votes I think it’s two hundred sixty-seven votes It’s a close match Alright You’ve advanced Congratulations to the Marilyn Mengrui team Ruirui and Meng Chuan for advancing to the next round Thank you Bye Good luck Here it comes. Knife. Still great. Thank you, everyone. Alright. Let’s talk about the word “friend.” What is it? Let’s do this. Two, three. Every once in a while, I suddenly become confident. And think, “Wow, I’m amazing.” Right away. Okay, let’s continue. I feel it’s something in my life that I can’t live without. Suddenly got deep. Friends are the family I choose. So I was especially happy today and told Da Dao, I’m glad I have you with me this season. What color do you want? You like blue. How about writing with a blue pen? Okay. That was filmed really well. I kind of want to cry. No, I can’t cry. Go ahead and cry, I’m not going to. Congratulations, Wang Dadao. With 263 votes, you advance to the next round. Thank you, everyone. I’m Wang Dadao. I think friendship means so much. No, it’s because I saw what she wrote at the end. She chose the spear. Because she refuses to bow to life. Oh, I really feel like crying. When I feel helpless, I know she’ll catch me. Others want me to be strong, but only she hopes I eat well. Why is there a segment like this? Why does the show have to be so emotional? I’m really speechless. This round of the competition is now officially over. Once again, thank you to all the outstanding stand-up comedians. Thanks to our friends in the audience group. Thank you to the scriptwriters. Thank you to the club managers. And most importantly, thank you to all the audience members. Your applause and cheers have given us comedians the greatest encouragement and support. Want to experience the joy of a live stand-up show? Search for “笑果” on WeChat. Follow the official “笑果” account and mini program. Tons of shows are waiting for you. A new round of nationwide stand-up tours is about to begin. Open the “笑果” mini program. Follow your favorite comedians. And make a wish for the city you want to see them in. They might just come to your city. Thank you, everyone. The upcoming competitions will be even more exciting. Take a break. See you next time. Welcome to the livestream. Today, for all the ladies, I’m recommending a makeup essential. Obviously, it’s not this one. Actually, the national makeup essential I want to recommend is this. Lao Cun Zhang liquor. Come on, let’s show it off. Look, super natural. The national baijiu, Lao Cun Zhang. Truly pure grain liquor. Smooth taste. You can “put on makeup” without getting tipsy. No cakey or mask-like effect. Makes life happier. I’m Seven. We are Hao7 Lazy Team. I’m Shanhe. We are Spicy Oil Little Cakes. I noticed that every time, he always gets stuck on one thing, going back and forth. He has nothing but still comes in all hyped up. Always putting on airs. No, I’ve already shut up. Shut up. I think nothing is bigger than life itself. Let’s first take a look at their respective vote counts. The two top-voted contestants. Thank you both for your wonderful performances. “Talk Show and Friends”—amazing, amazing, amazing!